It wasn’t my intent for this to be some sort of daily baring of my soul. A pseudo mid-life crisis wringing itself out every morning and hung to dry on social media. Yet here we are. I feel like this thing used to be lighter, snarkier and funnier. More anecdotes and less Dr. Phil, yet here we are.
More than a couple people have reached out and said that I must be “working through some heartache and challenges,” or “doing some soul searching.” I guess I am. Or am I just vocalizing the same things we all endure.
I don’t sit here in the dark in the mornings drumming up profundity for the sake of itself. I never think that the things that I write about are that personal that maybe I shouldn’t put them out into the public. Yet here we are.
That is one of my flaws (gifts?). I do things. I don’t think much about repercussions or what things look like or who will think what about me (in the moment). I do and I look back later. Well sometimes I look back. Sometimes I just do and do and do. Then 47 blog posts later A friend tells me I have cornered the market on mental health talk and I step back and look and think. “Weird. That’s not really what I thought was happening.” Yet, here we are.
Perception is reality. When one puts forth without consideration of perception, people form their own and I’m pretty okay with that. Here’s why.
Yesterday I thought good and hard about the point of this post. About whether I’m working through something specific to this point in my life. What I came up with is that if anything, this is who I’ve always been. So if I’m working through anything. It’s working through me. I don’t know why I never thought about how doing it live and in person would be construed. This is who I’ve been for as long as I can remember. I just don’t know that anyone saw it until I opened up the door.
The fact that this post exists proves that some of you were right, I guess. But there’s a big up side.
For as many of those who perceive this as a narcissistic exercise of “look at me,” there are friends and strangers who have seen a glimpse of light or had a better day because of it. That’s worth it to me.
So yes, here we are.