Every three weeks or so I’ll be scanning back over the last 168 days of writing. Sometimes I even read the whole thing. Most times I can’t even remember writing them until I am about halfway done. Today I noticed a few trends that I am sure you have picked up. First, I am old. I know this because I talk about it incessantly, have crepey skin and now apparently, can’t go a week without talking about the shitty weather. The other trend is I talk about how much I hate you talking about the weather, while talking about the weather. For you all scoring at home, this is actual irony. Or maybe not, it’s for damn sure closer than Alanis Morisette got.
In the list of things that bug me, people talking about things like the weather, and sports, and traffic are pretty up there. So what I do is this. I write 300 words about how much that bugs me, because of course, it’s 100% different. This is where I am going to go “third person” for the first time ever on this blog and say “CLASSIC PF!!”
In my world, I get bent when you do the things that bug me, AND I hate when people complain. But that doesn’t apply to me. Nothing does, because, well, I am difficult, and old, and because it’s different when I point it out, and other excuses I am too lazy to verbalize.
Really though, I think a lot of us are like that. We say things like, “Ole so and so can’t shut up about the traffic! We get it, there’s traffic.” followed directly by a screen shot of Apple Maps with squiggly red lines where the roads should be and “FML” in bold letters.
We are human (read: duplicitous). We can’t help ourselves. Is it because we are so self unaware? Or stupid? Or something else? YES. We are all these things.
But 2019 is the year of “NEW YEAR. NEW ME!!” so I am calling myself out and trying to do better. No more bitching and moaning about the shitty weather in this godforsaken swath of the planet. Nothing but new leaves, sunshine and rainbows.
Who’s gonna join me?!? Bueller? Bueller? ANYONE??