On days I don’t write early, these things are loose, rough and hurried. I hate that, and almost every time that I am faced with either not writing or putting out another mediocre post, I almost just put up the “gone fishing” sign. I did that in 2014 and didn’t write for a month. Then 4 more posts over 2 months, then nothing for 9 months. Then 23 posts over the next 5 years. So yeah, I go fishing and forget to write.
It’s kind of stupid in a way. I don’t have to do this every day. Nor do I have to write these bitchy ass posts about how I struggle with writing every 3 weeks when I fail to plan and my writing time disappears in a blink. Whoa is me.
Funny though, while I was looking around in the archives, I did find some fodder for future posts, but also a lot of the same posts I’ve been writing. This is kind of reassuring in some ways as I feel like I have changed a lot in the last couple of years. Turns out, the roots of who I am have been the same for a long time. That helps to offset the days when you feel your world is spiralling out of your control.
Honesty, starting, doing, pushing others, music, and observations, all delivered with a layer of snark, have been my thing for a long long time. So has apologizing for my short comings. I can see how others think I do it too much, but I am a firm beleiver in admitting you are wrong. It’s okay to have strong opinions and convictions, but when you shit the bed, it’s best to own up instead of blaming it on the dog.
If I were to write a book, there would be a chapter on this. Yes, you should try not to fuck up as much, but being a good person and admitting that you did will get you a long way in life.
No one wants to be wrong or admit they lack. It’s uncomfortable and some would argue, shows weakness. I think it shows the opposite. It tells people it’s okay to try and fail, to believe in something and be wrong, and to be better because of it.
See, what started out as an apology, turned into something halfway decent. And I didn’t have to go fishing.