I’d like to give a shout out to rich white people. Y’all been taking it pretty hard these days and well some of that’s deserved. I’d like to thank you for your willingness to renovate your home. and consequently for providing me the highest quality port a potties on my running routes. I bet this isn’t where you thought this post was going
Running has a multitude of benefits for the mind and body. The surprise attacks it launches on your bowels is not one of those benefits. Most runners have a strict “routine” when it comes to getting out the door and a scheduled deuce is usually high on the list.
Even with careful planning things can go easily awry. If your ability to plan your running routes is sound you make sure you run by a bathroom. Or 5.
For many years my insides fought a war of attrition with my running. No matter the amount of coffee or timing. I’d end up ass out in the bushes. So much so that I started running with baby wipes and quit trying to plan altogether.
In 2006 we moved to Kenilworth, a neighborhood in the middle of Baton Rouge and i started running new routes. One of them was a 7 mile route down to a neighborhood where a local 5k was held. There, I stumbled upon the finest port a lets money can buy.
University Acres was built in the 30s or so and had a ton of beautiful old homes that people were consistently buying and renovating. For a decade plus I’ve run with the comfort of knowing a brand new port a let will be positioned with more frequency than even the most extravagant marathon courses. Just Saturday I was running the 1.6 mile out and back and passed 7 individual plastic turd receptacles. SEVEN.
Not only are there lots of them, the quality is top notch. The construction workers in this hood are treated to the finest amenities. Not only was there hand sanitizer but also Charmin. What the hell. That thing had nicer toilet paper than my house.
I’d also be remiss if I didn’t mention a related occurrence on Sunday. I was out riding my bike and came upon a cop car blocking River Road. River Road runs south along the Mississippi River from Baton Rouge to New Orleans and North to god knows where (Chicago? Minnesota?) and is a usual barren wastelands. If you need a bathroom on a ride, find a tree. Yesterday they had a 10k out there and positioned lovingly along the road were a half dozen Pot’s O Gold. I’m not fancy. If this is what we get for infrastructure in this banana republic, I’m taking the time to stop and pee.
As we start another week, let this be a reminder to be thankful for the little things. And again, thank you, rich white people.