Patrick Fellows is a 5 time Ironman, TEDx giving, 32 miles swimming, endurance coaching, healthy cooking, entrepreneur and musician.  Born in Dearborn, MI, raised in Mississippi and a Louisianian for 30 years, 

Help (comma)self


For a half a year I put it out daily pieces of positivity. Snippets of my life. “Relateables”. I’m a coach. Both naturally and literally but I still have a hard time selling what i do without it feeling dirty. 

For a month or so I’ve been dwelling on a idea that seems big to me. It’s something I see all the time, both in me and people I. coach. Despite our hardest efforts. We are who we are and that “are” is incredibly tough to change/grow/evolve. 

It’s like we have a humanistic force to fall back to our specific personality defaults. Like some sort of cruel DNA enttropy. 

I see people make massive life changes in how the eat/exercise only to turn around a year or so later and they’ve slid back down a playground slide of least resistance to their “are”. 

This isn’t about them though , it’s about me too. I wrote for 178 days in a row, took a few off, wrote 5 more, then off and 3 more. Then twice a week. Then once. Then once every 10 days. 

At the same time, my tendency to over question validity kicks into high gear. It’s the same tendency an alcoholic or over eater has. “None of this matters, why are you bothering writing, like 5 people read this. Who’s it even for?”  

It’s no different than “One drink one matter.” And “You can eat that,” but with much less consequence. If I don’t write, I don’t relapse or go on a week long food binge. I only suffer mentally. Oh wait...

Back to the larger point. I really wonder why we slide back to the same places that are 10x more uncomfortable and less productive than the spots we want to be in that take work.  How can we argue that it’s a “comfort zone” when it sucks so bad. I get that it may be easier but to say it’s a comfort zone is a lie. 

Maybe it’s the diligence that’s so hard to maintain. Or the starting of the diligence. I say the starting because whenever I’ve gone on a more stringent eating plan or dedicated myself to working on something, Day 2 is like “this is no big deal.”  Day 1 is like trying to teach a one year old to not chew with his mouth open. 

I started this by saying I had a hard time selling this and really the title of this was sparked by something I passed by on the internet this evening.  This notion of “self help”. Self help is a gazillion dollar business and I guess I’m a willing (unwilling) player by the nature of pushing health, nutrition and waxing poetic within these walls. While we are ultimately 100% responsible for “helping ourselves.”  The reality is we all do better with support once we have decided to start. Complete self help works in a vacuum I guess. But we don’t live in one of those. We live in a world that strives for entropy (big word again) and we default to “you are fucking failure” faster than a bullet train. We need help with that most of the time.  

People ask me a lot “how are you going to monetize your writing.”  I never have a good answer for that. I know it brings value to some and that’s rewarding but the thought of me pitching how I’m gonna to charge you to help you get off your default is nauseating.  What’s weird is that Im okay with it when i tie it to a thing “a training plan” or “daily accountability”.  But do I charge per text?  Per big idea blog post?  And so,  I fall back to one of my uncomfortable zones while vowing to get up and write some more, hope that it helps and feel less like a whore. 

DM me if I can help. That’s my pitch. We will figure it out. 


Poor Eddie Vedder

It’s amazing?