DIS-UNITED
This morning I made a connection. Or a realization. Or maybe it’s both. The semantics aren’t important. For most of my whole life I never felt a part of the group. Felt a part of a culture or identity. So I invented my own and invited people along. Sometimes people joined. Sometimes they scoffed and sometimes nothing happens. This is how it goes. Almost every time though, given distance, I arrive at the same place. Apart.
Apart from the very things I’ve tried to surround myself with. From the friends and associations I’ve made. This morning I realized maybe a lot of us are this way.
I was skimming through the internets and saw a share of an article from my friend and kid’s youth pastor, Kale. I won’t dig too deep into the article because there’s enough being said about the events of last week. What brought me to the connection was one line:
“It’s so hard because we don’t look at each other and see each other as Americans first, whether it’s race or ethnicity or religion or political party that’s getting in the way of us being able to have that shared identity that forged our country and is necessary for us to be able to continue.”
While some would read this and think immediately of their political affiliations, I read it and saw a nation lost. The same lost as me. I feel no more American than I do Chinese. That’s not to say I’m not proud of our country and the rest. It means that I don’t feel a connection to anything like that. Religion, party, country, running community, business association, and so forth. I feel, mostly like an interloper a lot of times. There seems to be no “shared identity”.
None of this is the end of the world or big news. Today I just wondered if most people feel this way? If we are mostly a lot of individuals floating through space on a big water rock? This morning I decided (again) that my relationship with the world isn’t that unique. We may all be this way. I just yammer on about it.
It feels like not since the Cold War or 9-11, have we bonded against a common goal (enemy-hate is a master motivator) and that maybe the need to be on a team together is what’s driving the Nation apart? Perhaps many (read most) are just the same lost souls. Searching to be. To be heard. To be valued. To belong.
When I read back through this it looks over emotional/dramatic, but such are the thoughts that churn behind my eyes. I wonder what we are all searching for (here’s where some will insert God), but make no mistake, we are all looking to be a part. To be United.
That search seems futile a lot of times, but maybe trying too hard doesn’t help much. I unfortunately don’t have an answer for you (me) as this has been a search for as long as Incan remember.
To be a part. Not. Apart.
#hugsandhi5s
