I saw a 70-80 year old man walking around the LSU lakes yesterday. He was picking up trash and just seemed to be ignoring the fact that 1000 people were running by. For some reason this made me consider what the hell I am moving towards.
What I mean is that life mostly feels like I’m working towards something but I’ve yet to really figure out what that is. It feels like I’m headed to a finish line. Like there’s going to be a “next” and I’ll know it when I get there.
If you read this. You’ll know there aren’t any “nexts” and I’m beginning to think no finish lines either. In the meantime I guess it will continue to feel like I’m “on to the next one”. Whatever that may be.
I am constantly looking forward. Constantly. I don’t know if that’s good or bad but it likely means I’m never looking at now. I think that all of the talk about “being present” is overused but that’s probably because it’s correct. Especially for me.
I ride bikes. Sometimes for multiples of hours. I never enjoy it. I don’t go ride and relax. I ride as a means to get faster at riding. Few are the times that I just go enjoy riding. I actually think about how fast I can get done with the ride so I can go do something else. This isn’t mutually exclusive to the bike. When I get to the “something else” I can’t wait for that to be done so I can go to the next thing. And on and on and on.
I can’t tell if this is a function of ADD, being over committed or being unable to enjoy anything as some of my friends allude to. Last night I enjoyed being with them and dinner with my wife. So there’s some proof I am not a complete curmudgeon.
As we all get older, I think it’s important to stop moving on to the next one. I mean I am 10 days into March and I thought it was February yesterday. What have I missed? Probably a lot.
Tomorrow starts another week (or today if you think the week starts then). I am going to try and enjoy and look a little more at where I am standing. Breathe it in and try and be in the “next one” I am already into.