Patrick Fellows is a 5 time Ironman, TEDx giving, 32 miles swimming, endurance coaching, healthy cooking, entrepreneur and musician.  Born in Dearborn, MI, raised in Mississippi and a Louisianian for 30 years, 

Stepping outside


I try and read as much as I can. Currently I am reading or listening to a couple books on mindset. As a coach, I feel my strengths are less based on writing clever workouts, but more about helping people work through what’s holding them back. I coach everything from middle schoolers to athletes over 70 and you’d be surprised to see that the same things hold them back. Mostly fear, but just saying “fear” doesn’t scratch the surface of how many different ways that fear manifests itself. 

I have written before about “making space” and “breathing” to calm the mind and get in track. This isn’t groundbreaking.  So much so that in almost everything I read or listen to, some sort of “stop, look and listen,” is mentioned. I’m currently reading or listening to 3 different books in mindset and they all mention it in some way shape of form. 

The next step on this path I think is equally important and calming. It’s learning to step outside of ourselves and looking back as an outsider would. When we can get out of our own headspace and look back a ourselves. The first thing we usually notice is that no one cares. What I mean is that we spend an enormous amount of time worrying about how we will be perceived and the reality is that the rest of the world is too busy thinking the same things about themselves to really notice you. When was an actual time that you thought more about what others were doing vs. thinking about what they are thinking about you?  Point proven. 

Stepping outside of ourselves frequently should lead to realizations that, objectively, most of life’s stressors aren’t that bad. It should eventually (hopefully) accentuate that you don’t have it that bad, you aren’t that important and that you can control a lot more of what’s going on in your world than you think and this should be comforting in and of itself. 

Personal objectivity and stepping outside is great on a lot of levels but it’s a great reminder that most of the “things” that cause you problems exist only in our heads. Hell, our perceptions of everything exist 99% in our heads. Getting out of that space and gazing in is a great way to remind ourselves of that. 

So this morning as we start another week. Stop and step outside for a few. Watch how things slow down. 


The coffee doesn’t taste right.

On to the next one.